tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48573992321900189452024-03-13T20:11:28.107-07:00Frustrated Ortho JewRichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-84503402767803857982010-04-19T06:37:00.000-07:002010-04-19T07:06:15.539-07:00Making the minyan* (prayer quorum)In general, the only time I go to prayer services is on Shabbat and that is really only for social reasons. With work keeping me busy during the week, I like to go to synagogue to see my friends, hang out a bit and catch up with everyone. <br /><br />So the times that I do attend services during the week are few and far between(I could count the times in the past few years on one hand). I just don't believe in prayer and services during the week don't really have the pull of being quasi-social events like they are on shabbat. In any case, I was attending an event last week where there were exactly 10 men. When it came time to pray, it was just assumed that everyone was going to join since everyone was needed to make the minyan. So I got stuck praying mincha* and a little later on maariv*.<br /><br />I felt really weird because I don't like praying and this was more of a forced prayer. Sure, I could have stood around and not said the words (which I did do to some extent), but I just felt like I would have much rather have been enjoying the event instead. It doesn't bother me if other want to pray, I just don't like being forced into it.<br /><br />The other thing I was wondering about was whether the other 9 would have wanted me to count as part of their minyan if they knew my feeling about prayer. Do you think they would have wanted to know this info and then wait for another chance to pray later? Do you think they would want someone to be a part of their minyan who doesn't believe the words they are saying are doing anything or have meaning?<br /><br />I once heard a big time rabbi say that a man can be counted for a minyan as long as he does not categorically deny God. Under those conditions, I guess nobody could really have any issue with me being part of the minyan. <br /><br />Any thoughts?<br /><br /><br />Minyan - a quorum of 10 men required to say certain parts of prayer that require such a group<br />Mincha - afternoon prayers<br />Maariv - evening prayers.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com123tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-64251527495517212182009-08-10T03:20:00.000-07:002009-08-10T04:46:49.279-07:00When the ^*%$ hits the fanI have known for a long time that there would be a time when my wife would find out about the non-religious part of my life. As one who hates confrontation, I had always hoped that that time would be far off and that I would be able to control it under my own terms. Well, that didn't happen.<br /><br />One week ago, I was in the middle of a project at a client's house when my wife sent me an SMS wanting to know when I would be home and that she would like to get a babysitter so we could go out. I asked where and she said it didn't matter, we just NEEDED to talk. I asked what was wrong and she told me that we would discuss this only in person. The rest of that work day was filled with all sorts of crazy thoughts of what it could be . . . from news of sick relatives to ones that may have passed away. From something wrong with our house or the lease to her being pregnant (not something either of us want now). In the words of Geirge Costanza "Nobody NEEDS to talk", so I knew this was something serious.<br /><br />In the back of my mind, I thought it was <span style="font-style: italic;">possible</span> that she knew I was OTD, but I just didn't think that was it. Heck, only one of my close friends knows the full extent of my irreligiosity, so it is not like it is out there for her to find out from the grapevine. I knew she hadn't found the blog, because she is not one to just read it and not say anything. <br /><br />So I get home from work and we get in the car to go. I ask her where and she says to just drive to a parking lot or something in another part of the city so we can talk. When we stopped, she asked me if there was anything I was hiding from her. This cat & mouse game went on for a while (i think it was about an hour). I think I was still afraid to say anything and was just hoping that she really didn't know. At one point I said something about the blog which she said she knew nothing about [<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">As a side note, initially I was wishing i kept that quiet, but as the night went on and in the week since, I am happy i let her read the blog</span></span>]. <br /><br />After 4.5 hours of talking, yelling, arguing, crying, debating etc. I feel like it all came down to one central issue: While she is not happy that I am not religious, she is much more upset about the fact that I kept it all from her. She said by leading this double life, I showed that I did not trust in the strength of our marriage (which is great) to get us through this, nor did I trust in her to be understanding. I always felt that I was protecting her & the family by not letting this out. While that is true to some extent, I now realize more than ever that I was protecting myself from having to deal with this properly and just fooled myself into thinking that I could keep everything hidden until the "perfect" time arose to bring it up.<br /><br />So where do we go from here? If we remain together, I will have to continue with many OJ formalities & actions for the sake of the family. My wife has said she doesn't want me to leave, but she also doesn't want me to resent this lifetyle and then decide in 10 years that it sucks and leave her as a single mother in her 40's. I kept thinking back to something that we always end up saying when we have had some financial difficulties; While money problems are tough, at least we have each other, our beautiful kids, supportive family and our health is good so we can get through this. So to here; While parts of OJ may drive me nuts, my life is good and these annoyances are a small price to pay for all the goodness I have in life.<br /><br />All in all, this week has been a true mixed bag of emotions. At one point, in our initial conversation, I thought it was all over. Coming that close to the brink made me realize even more how much I want to be with my wife & kids. I know that it will be tough for my wife to be completely trusting of me going forward, but I truly feel that this is going to work in the end.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com105tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-77535853083658880792009-07-31T03:22:00.000-07:002009-07-31T03:51:32.381-07:00Tisha B'Av conflict & the Beit HamikdashI fasted yesterday, as most Orthodox Jews do, to commemorate the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago. Honestly, I find it tough to fast when I don't really care about the fact that we no longer have the Temple. I do not have a yearning for public sacrifices and private ones meant for forgiveness/repentance. Nor do I yearn for the days when a Sanhedrin (Jewish court) rules the country. <br /><br />I was thinking about something that related to this. There is a concept in Judaism called "Ein somchin al haneis - Don't depend on miracles". Basically, it is used to tell us to take that first step & make the effort and then God will help out to go to the next level. In general, it is a nice concept and I think it is also apropos for parenting. <br /><br />So why don't more right wing OJ/chareidim apply this to the State of Israel? While they obviously want a "Torah true" government run according to halacha (which we clearly do not have now), isn't what we have better than having no country at all? Let them view this as the beginning of something that can bring us to the point were God can take over? If we as Jews are supposedly mourning for the destruction of the Temple and the loss of Jewish sovereignty I would think they would recognize this step.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-73840328732836253172009-07-08T05:31:00.000-07:002009-08-03T12:52:29.694-07:00What brought you to (or back to) Orthodox Judaism?Unlike many people who have gone OTD, I didn't have a bad experience with OJ overall. There isn't a single event or group of events that pushed me out and made me seek an alternative. Rather, it all began with an overall disinterest in OJ in specific and Judaism in general. I felt that the minutiae of halacha was a huge pain and that following all these rules just didn't give me spiritual upliftment or any real meaning in life.<br /><br />Over the years, my wife recognized this ambivalence towards OJ and told me to go seek out the answers I was looking for. Honestly, I wasn't really seeking answers because I just didn't care. Some people feel a spiritual void and need to look for meaning and God in their daily lives. Not me. I was happy going on living each day to its fullest, having fun with the family, succeeding at work, enjoying hanging out & doing stuff with my friends, and generally enjoying life.<br /><br />Did God create the world or did it happen by chance? Did God create the world in a literal 6 days or did He set evolution in motion? Is the Torah literal? Does God care about my daily actions? What happens when we die?<br /><br />Questions along these line are often the major questions that get people all revved up about God (or turned away when the answers are not sufficient). Yet, not a single one of them ever bothered me. I just didn't care. I always dealt with the facts on the ground that I am here now and I make the best of it. Does it really matter how the world started or where I go when I die? It wasn't until my wife pushed me to seek answers that I really began to think more about OJ theology, God, messianic redemption, Jewish law etc.<br /><br />Given my situation, it can be very frustrating to be forced to lead a somewhat OJ life when I don't believe in it. Periodically, I have tried to speak to educational, rabbinic, and generally knowledgeable people about my issues with OJ. If someone could light that spark and make it meaningful, I am not opposed to getting back into it. If someone had plausible answers I could overlook some issues and make that leap of faith, but it just hasn't happened.<br /><br />So i'd like to hear from any of my readers who where never religious & became OJ or perhaps from converts to OJ or people who were OJ then left and returned. Why, did you choose this life? Who or what made you look towards OJ as the answer to your life's void?Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-89284116169604222542009-06-29T18:05:00.000-07:002009-06-29T18:12:54.247-07:00How does Olam Haba give purpose to life?One of the common arguments I often hear in support of OJ is that, without God and the Torah, there is no purpose to life. Through the Torah's commandments, God has given us purpose and a way to attain a place in Olam Haba, the World to Come.<br /><br />I have two problems with this "reason" for going along with OJ:<br /><br />1. If, as many OJ adherents claim, Olam Haba is sitting in the presence of God and enjoying the Torah with Him, then I am not really interested. They make it as if the reward is basically hearing a Torah shiur (class) from the Man himself. Sorry, but that just doesn't do it for me.<br /><br />2. Ok, so the goal is to get to Olam Haba. Then what? Do we sit around God and hang out with other do gooders? What is the purpose of that? So Olam Haba really just gives you a goal for this world, but then the problem arises again since there is no purpose to Olam Haba itself. <br /><br />Sure, if you are into OJ, then living OJ with the addition of a closer connection to God would sound great. But in itself, that is a lame carrot to dangle as a reason to be OJ.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com272tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-59715859631234921082009-06-04T09:12:00.000-07:002009-06-04T09:34:23.268-07:00Let's say we get 100% proof . . .I was talking this past shabbat with my wife about the fact that it bothers me that moshiach & olam haba are not mentioned outright in the torah. As the discussion ensued, she basically told me that she thinks I am looking for excuses to get out of OJ and am therefore nitpicking all the things that seem to annoy me. While she isn't completely on target, she isn't necessarily that far off.<br /><br />This got me thinking, what if I was presented with 100% proof that gets rid of all the issues I have with Judaism. What that proof is, I don't know, but suffice to say it was rock solid. Maybe God himself comes and has a one on one chat with me. Maybe Moshe Rabeinu pops in with a video of him getting the torah. Maybe I am provided with a time machine and see things myself. Maybe I fly on Alladin's carpet up to God's castle in the heavens. <br /><br />You get the point: ROCK SOLID proof is provided to satisfy me and any skeptic out there of the following:<br />- God created the world<br />- God chose the Jews and personally gave the torah to them, which is all fact<br />- God wants us to follow the torah and cares about our daily lives<br />- God generally rules the world<br />- God rewards us in the life to come after we are dead<br /><br />So then what? Does OJ all of a sudden interest me? As I once responded to my wife when she asked me if I was interested in a shiur she read about, "Just as you never attended my engineering classes because they do not interest you, I am not attending the shiur because I am just not interested".<br /><br />So, in the end, it really doesn't matter how "right" OJ is. It just matters that I am not one who is spiritual and believes in the mitvot and supposed reward that OJ offers. Couldn't I just opt out and not be bound to things I don't believe in or care in? I would gladly give up the "olam Haba" that OJ think I have coming to me. Just like there are people who prefer to not to be managers because with the additional money comes additional rules and responsibilities, i want to choose to be a plain old person.<br /><br />If all jews were really given a choice, I wonder how many would choose OJ? And I am not taling about the "choice" they say we have now, but then look down upon anyone who isn't a practicing OJ.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-38263364865025111832009-05-22T07:28:00.000-07:002009-05-22T07:44:11.904-07:00The logistics of Techiyat Hamaytim (resurection of the dead)I have posted in the past about my disbelief in Techiyat Hamaytim (resurection of the dead) at the time of Moshiach (in whom i also don't believe). Today, I went with the family to the cemetery and my kid's were asking questions about what happens when these people will come back. I gave them the usual "we don't really know" OJ viewpoint. <br /><br />It got me thinking about how this would actually work (and yes this is a part serious, part mockery) . . . .<br /><br /> - If a guy was married to two wives during his lifetime because his first wife died, will he get to choose which one he wants?<br /><br />- Will these people just rise up from the ground or will they all come from a central location? <br /><br />- Once they arise, will we be able to differentiate them from currently living people of the same age?<br /><br />- How old will they be? Will they continue to age from the age at which they died?<br /><br />- I am assuming people with lost limbs will not get them back. however, will people who died of diseases come back healthy? <br /><br />- What about general pysical ailments?<br /><br />- Since their bodies have decomposed over the years, what body type will they have? <br /><br />- Will the newly resurected person have the same personality as they had before death?<br /><br />- Will they be clothed or in the shrouds that they were buried in?<br /><br />- Does every Jew who ever died come back? Are there opinions who believe non-Jews will come back as well?<br /><br />- Since we are assuming that all of these people will come to Israel since it is in the time of Moshiach, where the hell are they all going to live?<br /><br />- Can cemetery land be developed for housing or other projects since it is no longer filled with holy bones that can't be disturbed?Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-74131679137772994642009-04-23T08:01:00.000-07:002009-04-23T08:15:51.930-07:00Go in the direction of the evidenceHonestly, i don't remember what topic we were discussing, but i remember bringing up an issue with my friend where the torah and science disagree. He kept asking something along the lines of "how do we know that science is correct?" Sure, I don't KNOW that science is correct, but at least it follows guidelines, allows for peer review, and admits to changes in light of changing facts. In short, science starts out with a theory on why or how something is what it is and then goes about looking for evidence that back up or disprove the claims. <br /><br />Compare that to the fundamental torah approach where the torah is assumed correct regardless of mounting evidence against a specific item within it. It is always he evidence that is viewed as flawed.<br /><br />Clearly, this just isn't a fair or intellectually honest way of looking at things. While I personally, do not believe in the Torah from God model (TMS), i think if someone treated it as a scientific model and came to that conclusion, it would be a fair fight. <br /><br />Along the same lines, my wife once asked me what level of proof i would need to satisfy me that God exists and that the torah is true. I responded that just as we wouldn't believe in the tooth fairy without evidence, why would we believe in God, the Torah etc without reasonable evidence. Of course, i made it sound a bit nicer so she didn't get too upset with my utter lack of reverence for Ortho Judaism and its tenents :)<br /><br />I just don't see how fundies don't see the hypocrisy in bashing science for any possible error (which even scientist admit only they then update their conclusion's), but then giving the Torah a complete pass.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com55tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-6141528444027209612009-03-22T06:09:00.000-07:002009-03-22T08:17:08.396-07:00Are we allowed to ever change?On another skeptic blog, JA made the comment "Why is it always the less religious parent who has to hide his beliefs and practices?". I thought about his comments through the lens of my situation and that of my fellow skeptics. Since most of us were ostensibly religious at the time we got married, it is us who is changing the dynamics of the relationship. In this light, I believe it is reasonable for the still religious spouse to be bothered by this change in our beliefs/actions. Likewise, I don't think it is fair for a spouse to become religious when both partners were irreligious at the onset of their relationship. Of course, from an OJ point of view, this is obviously seen as a positive move and it is the non-religious spouse that needs to get with the program.<br /><br />This is not just true when someone undergoes a religious transformation. I think the same thing would hold true for anyone who significantly changes the dynamic of a relationship from the understanding they had at the onset. Such cases like someone who suddenly decided they wanted to quick their white collar job and live the life of an artist or someone who decided they no longer wanted to have any children. There are no right or wrong side of these issues. Rather, if they deviate from the understanding that one spouse has initially, then it is reasonable for them to be bothered when a change occurs.<br /><br />So does this mean that nobody is allowed to change anything from the time they get married until they die or risk divorce? In short; no, they really aren't. Well, at least not in a significant manner without the buy-in of their spouse. Whenever we look for a partner, we are looking for personality, intellectual, religious, physical traits among others that appeal to us. So it should not be hard to fathom that by changing one of our core traits, out partner will have to adjust accordingly. Sometimes these changes can be accepted, other times they are just too big of a change to accept.<br /><br />In a nutshell, I feel that this is the basis behind my fear of coming out fully to my wife about my religious views and practices. I love my wife dearly, but realize that some changes are just to great for a partner to accept and fear that this may be a deal breaker for my wife. My marriage isn't based solely on our common religious views that we shared, but it is certainly was one of our common views initially and one that my wife considers important. .Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-61914612708704504692009-02-25T18:37:00.000-08:002009-02-25T19:11:11.939-08:00The "reason" for keeping kosherOne thing that has always troubled me about the torah is that Jews are expected to keep slews of commandments that have no clear reason. Yes, I know that the OJ view is that God doesn't need to give me a reason. Since He knows best, I should just take it at face value and do as I am told. However, i think even the most fundamentalist OJ would agree that it would be easier to follow the torah if we had reasons for the commandments. <br /><br />A few weeks back, I was on a business trip in European city where there where next to no Jews. Subsequently, there was no kosher restaurant or take-out available. So I went ahead and ate with my co-workers in whatever places they ate for lunch/dinner. While I don't really care about keeping kosher, if I am in a place where it is readily available I will usually go for it. I think this comes back to my general fear of being found out that I am not really religious. So I would rather just place it safe even if it isn't the most convenient thing to do.<br /><br />After being in this city for about a week & a half and eating with my co-workers, I have to admit I loved every minute of it. For once, I actually felt like one of the guys and not this pariah that always has to separate himself at meal time. <br /><br />And that is when it dawned on me. This is probably why Judaism has the laws of kosher. What better way to make sure you don't hang out with non-Jews than to take away the opportunity for meals and parties with them? It makes a lot more sense than the tired reasoning that kosher is healthier or that non-kosher animals are somehow dirtier than kosher ones (let's be honest cows aren't the cleanest animals either).<br /><br />Even skeptics and non-believers like me have to admit that this is an ingenious way to keep your own culture going and to keep your followers away from people with opposing views.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-63089404978188534592009-01-26T09:16:00.000-08:002009-01-26T11:31:50.469-08:00Did Rachel Imeinu help the IDF in Gaza??I am not going to rehash the whole story here, but, in short, there have been stories going around the country that Rachel Imeinu appeared to soldiers in Gaza during the recent operation and steered them clear of booby traps.<br /><br />Yes, I admit I am a HUGE skeptic and would not readily accept miracles like the believing crowd would. However, I just have one question for those that believe it without questioning it at all:<br />Would you believe the same story if it was told about US soldiers and that it was Jesus that saved them? Of course, most believers in Judaism would say no without thinking twice. And I think this points out the err in their ways. They are so anxious to believe ANYTHING that puts God in a good light that they don't stop to think that maybe the story isn't true.<br /><br />I was not in Gaza and have no idea if this happened or not. But to automatically accept it wholeheartedly or discount the opposite scenario of US soldiers and Jesus immediately is ridiculous.<br /><br />I just wish EVERYONE (myself included) would actually take the time to look at the issues, listen to what others have to say, realize we may be wrong in our thinking, and then come to a conclusion. To jump to immediate conclusions in either direction doesn't help any of us.<br /><br />btw, for some further reading, DovBear had 2 good posts on this as well:<br />http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2009/01/new-rochel-imaynu-fable.html<br />http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2009/01/did-rachel-imeinu-appear-or-not.html<br /><br />**Update<br />2 additional posts on this topic, both from Rav Aviner<br />http://www.ravaviner.com/2009/01/rachel-imenu-our-foremother-rachel-in.html<br />http://www.ravaviner.com/2009/01/more-on-rachel-imenu.html<br />In short, he basically says that without better proof, we should assume it is not true.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-34855888303416514392008-11-26T14:31:00.000-08:002008-11-26T14:45:42.766-08:00Is it only a package deal?The more I think about my issues with Orthodox Judaism, Torah, and God, the more I realize that I really have no problem with God at all. Or Gods. Or some other supernatural being that made/started the universe as we know it. Regardless of the answer science comes up with, I feel like we are still left with the question of what created that first thing regardless of how primitive it may have been. Maybe I like the idea of putting it on a God that I don't have to explain. It just seems convenient since I don't think we can ever know the real answer with total certainty (even if it was God as described in the Torah). We all can look at the different theories and just put our faith into one that works best for us.<br /><br />That said, my issues with OJ and the Torah are ones that bother me constantly. The laws, the historical/scientific issues etc. are on my mind all the time.<br /><br />So I was wondering if it makes sense to anyone else that I have no problem believing a God figure could have created the earth, but that this God did not give the torah and doesn't really care much about us humans. That is, can you believe in an initial God, but not an everlasting one?Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-62688690217721449762008-11-10T02:54:00.000-08:002008-11-10T02:57:54.313-08:00Moshiach sourcesCan someone please give me some Torah sources for why Jews believe in the the coming of Moshiach (Messiah)? I would prefer the sources be from the Chumash (five books of Moses) as I just don't believe the Navi to be divine. <br /><br />I don't have time to write now, but this will be part of a longer, more in-depth post.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-57447161692670242602008-11-01T11:52:00.000-07:002008-11-01T12:19:43.468-07:00When there are no satisfactory answersWhen i started to move away from OJ, it was because I just didn't like it. It didn't speak to me at all and I did not get any spiritual uplifted from it. The minutia of halacha was incredibly annoying to me. And, unlike JP would like everyone to believe, it had NOTHING to do with wanting sex, drugs, or the like.<br /><br />After a while like this, my wife encouraged me to seek out answers to my questions and to deal with my feelings instead of just giving up on it. I told her that I would honestly look for answers, but that she has to also understand that the conclusions I reach may not be the ones she desires. So I started to pay attention to the torah reading and actually read through it on Shabbat afternoon. I also began reading books that dealt with questions on Judaism or science/torah issues. I critically read some of the skeptic blogs and tried to look at the issues from a fair vantage point. Similarly, I read blogs from a traditional OJ vantage point.<br /><br />Yet, what happens in the end of the day when the answers just don't satisfy one's need? Does that give one "permission" to leave the fold and follow the answers they have found? certainly not according to traditional OJ. Seems to me that people like me are really left in a bind because of this. <br /><br />On one hand Judaism likes to state that, unlike Christianity, we are allowed to ask questions and think critically about our religion. On the other hand, if you are only allowed to come up with answers that lead you back to "proper" OJ, then you really aren't allowed to question after all.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com65tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-39624062578100435102008-10-27T12:29:00.000-07:002008-10-27T12:44:45.786-07:00Is "Don't Kill" common sense?In this past week's torah portion (Genesis) Cain decides to kill his brother Abel and is duly punished by God. There have been some bloggers that have suggested that without the torah we would turn to a life of murder, robbery, debauchery etc. These people claim that we need the torah to help us act as a just society. <br /><br />So if that is the case, why was Cain punished by God? The torah was yet to be given, so he didn't break any rules. According to this line of thought, he was just acting on a natural uinstinct that God just imbued in him.<br /><br />I think it is sad that the obvious answer, that common sense is what tells you killing is wrong, is unfortunately not so obvious to some. I am not saying that the torah has not helped improve morals, but to say that we would have none without it just seems ludicrous.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-10674957230789371442008-10-18T09:25:00.001-07:002008-10-23T11:17:32.138-07:00Trying (and failing) to find purpose in PrayerSeveral weeks ago, I spent some time with friends of mine who happen to be a Rabbi & Rebbetzin. I was talking to them about my general lack of interest in orthodox judaism and how i have a hard time believing in some of the tenants. In any case, the conversation turned to davening (praying) and I said that I just have a hard time really caring about davening. I rarely go to shul during the week and generally go on shabbat, but more for social reasons than anything else.<br /><br />About a month ago, I saw them again and the Rebbetzin lent me a book called <a href="https://www.artscroll.com/Products/PWFH.html">Praying with Fire</a>. It has 80-something 5-minute lessons that are meant to be read one at a time on a daily basis. She had heard good things about the book and thought it might help. I started to read it and have used it to really think about davening in general, the specific lessons for the day, and the words of the prayer i was saying at that specific time. <br /><br />All this focussed thinking about prayer has led me to believe that prayer is virtually worthless. I don't believe in the power of prayer to change our lot with a higher power. I don't believe that prayer for someone helps them get better.<br /><br />I have also come to realize, that like the <span style="font-style: italic;">belief</span> in God which can't be proven with absolute certainty in either direction, people have a<span style="font-style: italic;"> belief</span> that prayer works. And what happens when the prayers are not answered? Well then, God just said no. So there is really no way to determine with any certainty that prayers do (or do not) work.<br /><br />This is why I say prayer is "virtually" worthless. If prayer can help someone reflect and think about their life and where they can improve perhaps they will go beyond the prayer and put it into action. Along the same lines, I also think that it shows a caring side of someone when they pray for a sick person. <br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">One side note about the book . . . If you are generally into prayer and just need that extra push or focus, then i would actually recommend this book. </span></span>Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-47146200521867573332008-10-03T04:38:00.000-07:002008-10-03T04:48:11.221-07:00Shofar & a break in the mesorahOne of the main parts of our Rosh Hashana service is the blowing of the shofar. I had always been taught in school that we are really only halachically required to blow a set of tekia-teruah-tekia blasts. However, in our times since we do not know the true sound of the tekia, we cover our bases and blow it in several possibilities. therefore, we have sets of tekiah-teruah-tekia, tekiah-shvarim-tekia, and tekiah-teruah + shevarim -tekia (for those not familiar with these terms, i have defined them below). After these, we blow additional ones just to round out the service.<br /><br />This doesn't really jive with the concept of an unbroken chain from the time God gave the torah at Har Sinai to the Jews until our present day, which is something that is en essential belief in Orthodox Judaism. For if the chain was trully unbroken, we wouldn't have an issue of forgetting the right sound. This of course leads me to wonder what other things may have been forgotten and we are doing completely wrong.<br /><br />Shofar sound primer:<br />teruah - one long shofar blast of approximately 5-6 seconds<br />shevarim - 3 medium blasts<br />teruah - 10+ very short blasts<br />shevarim-teruah - 3 medium blasts folowed by 10+ very short ones.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-77922687761368754162008-09-24T13:06:00.000-07:002008-09-24T13:28:00.027-07:00Do proofs (for or against) matter?I was reading an article the other day about that was advising Jews on how to properly combat Christian missionaries on college campuses. It said that the best thing to do is avoid getting into the conversation at all since it is fruitless. It stated that you can discredit one of their proofs and they will say something along the lines of "well, that may not be true, but what about . . . " and then move on to the next proof.<br /><br />Is that really any different than Orthodox Judaism? Take the following issues the trouble many skeptics; Creation, The Exodus, The Flood. You have scientific/geological issues with 6 days of creation. You have archeological/historical issues with The Exodus. You have geological/zoological issues with The Flood. So how does OJ answer? Well it says so in the torah and therefore it must be true.<br /><br />So in the end, it doesn't really matter how you argue against anything in the Torah if you believe in the divinity of the Torah because it <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">can't</span> be wrong . On the flip side, is there hope of convincing an affirmed athiest (or skeptic) that the Torah is indeed divine?<br /><br />While it is possible to convince people to move from one camp to the other, I think that once we are educated enough to make these arguments and back them up, we are pretty entrenched in our ways.<br /><br />I would like to think that if someone showed me a side of Judaism that actually spoke to me that I would be open to it, but I just don't know that I am. I openly admit that I am looking harder for the proofs to back up my skeptic thoughts than ones that support the opposing view.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-17628436261187792432008-09-01T12:41:00.000-07:002008-09-01T13:10:04.168-07:00TSBP/Oral Torah issues Part III am still looking through the issues raised in the previous post, but I think my issue stems from a very basic question:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Why have the Oral Torah at all?</span><br /><br />What is the point of having all these additional rules that are not specifically included in the most popular rule book in the history of the world, The Torah (Written Torah, aka 5 books of Moses)? <br /><br />It can't be, as some suggest, that then the Torah would would be ambiguous, because the Oral Torah has just as much of a chance of being ambiguous. Plus you then have the issue of why God can't write an unambiguous book.<br /><br />If it was to keep it from the general world population by passing it from person to person, then you have to wonder why God wanted these parts hidden from the non-Jewish population while sharing the Torah. If that is the reason, why not just make the entire Torah inaccessible to non-Jews? Are we hiding something?<br /><br />Like the old kids party game of telephone, you know the message is going to get screwed up over the years. So it was inevitable that at some point the Oral Torah was written down since the Jews were losing the details. Couldn't God foresee this and just forget the whole Oral Torah idea and write it all down?<br /><br />Finally, by having a chunk of the rules passed down through word of mouth, you increase the chances of some Jews keeping different rules than others. Wouldn't God want us all following the same set of rules?<br /><br />If we are worried about the length of the Torah if all the rules are included, couldn't we just get rid of all the geneology stuff that seems pretty superfluous? Or maybe we could get rid of things that are repeated more than once.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4857399232190018945.post-5689538371678160512008-08-21T10:24:00.000-07:002009-08-03T12:47:49.304-07:00Why can the Rabbis add to the Torah?So I am sitting in shul last week and we read in the parsha the comandment that you "Can't add or subtract from the Torah". Before I get to my issues with the Torah She Ba'al Peh, can someone explain to me how we have hilchot d'rabanan? How can the rabbis add something like muktzah on shabbat when that is clearly not what the torah said? How can they add extra boundaries to make sure we don't transgress the real torah laws? wouldn't you think God knew what he was doing when he made it up?<br /><br />Regarding Torah She Ba'al Peh . . . Does it not bother anyone else that it isn't mentioned in the Written Torah (i.e. the 5 books of Moses)? Of course, this is assuming for the sake of argument that there is no question that the Written Torah is divine. I just can't get past the fact that we have so many laws that have nothing to do with what is plainly written in the torah.<br /><br />so what's the deal?Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12909933722622649565noreply@blogger.com77